Thursday, May 29, 2008

Mariah Carey - What a Wacko!

I don't follow celebrity gossip. You'll notice that Perez Hilton is not listed as one of the blogs I read. I rarely watch TV (other than the Amazing Race and NHL games), I rarely make it to a movie and I rarely listen to the radio. Pop culture vacuum? Yep, that's where I live.

And even in that pop culture vacuum, I am still very aware of the fact that Mariah Carey is a wacko. And this video is funny. Nice outfit.

The guy that she's is pitching to is my co-worker's brother. You can thank that co-worker for this brief interlude into celebrity commentary.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Dodge Got Adopted!

Before the actual news of this post, I need to share with you another good Laffy Taffy joke: What do you call the chicken as he crosses the road?

OK - now for purpose of this post: The little Dodgeball did not go up for adoption over the weekend as I had hoped, as he needed to have more x-rays done to verify that his leg was healed sufficiently. He passed the medical exam and finally went up for adoption on Tuesday morning at the AHS Sunnyslope facility. Their doors open at 10:00 am, and when I checked the adoptable dogs on their website at 1:30 pm, he was gone. Yippeee!!! Adopted within 3 1/2 hours! What a superstar! I'm pretty sure that he has already taken over his new household and is keeping everyone's laps warm.

The answer to the above joke: Poultry in motion. Hee.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The New Foster Has a Name - sort of

I decided that Scarlet would be a suitable name for the new foster dog. She's even starting to respond to it. However, many times when I try to say "Scarlet" I end up calling her Sabrina, Sabra and once even Sasha (sorry, Kiri, I'm not trying to make any sort of suggestion that your lovely baby is a dog who likes to chew wood and tries to eat her own poop). I'm not sure why my brain and mouth have lost their connection.

I guess we'll wait to see what sticks.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

The New Foster Needs a Name

Today was Dodge's last day with us. I returned him to the shelter this morning. He was such an awesome little dog. If you are thinking about adding a dog to your family, I know of a great little, busy lap dog that would make a perfect pet! Go visit the Arizona Humane Society and if Dodge is still there, grab him and take him home! If he's not there, grab another friendly pup and take it home instead. They are all waiting patiently for someone to love.

The trip to the shelter today was not all sad - after taking Dodge, they gave me a new foster. She is an 8 month old shepherd/cattle dog mix with a fractured leg. She had FHO surgery and she'll be with us for 6-8 weeks while she recuperates. She's very loving and is immediately friendly to everyone she meets. I don't think she'd been in a house before - she was nervous to walk through doorways and nervous to walk on tile. Once I coerced her inside, she'd stay in the back room until she got up enough courage to join us in the dining room. The first time through the doorway, she stopped in the kitchen and stood there until I came to save her from the too-smooth tile.

She likes the other dogs, especially Georgie. She has tried to wrestle and play, but her lame leg keeps getting in the way. She immediately found a tennis ball in the yard and threw it up in the air. Once her leg is strengthened and she's able to use it properly, I'm pretty sure that fetch is going to be a favorite of hers.

This little girl really needs a name. Any suggestions?

Thursday, May 22, 2008

A Really Good Laffy Taffy Wrapper

Riddle #1: What is a parasite?

Riddle #2: Why did the chicken cross the playground?

Go here for the answers.

Patrick Is A Mean, Mean Man

So last night I stayed up late to spend time with my little foster, Dodge. He goes back to the shelter on Saturday morning and I will be sad to see him go. Dodge is a true cuddler - there is nowhere he'd rather be than on your lap or snuggled up against you. He was happily all snuggled up against me, nibbling on the sheet (a strange habit of his), while I was explaining to him that he was going to find a great and wonderful home when he goes up for adoption and that he has to be a really good boy at the shelter so that the perfect people choose him.

Pat says to me, "You are mean. He's going to wonder what he did wrong for you to give him up. If you could see his heart you'd see that you'll be breaking it in half when you take him back to the shelter. " I'm pretty sure he was trying to make me cry.

Patrick - here is a lesson for you: What a supportive husband should say would be more along the lines of "Jill, you are such a wonderful person to take in these sick and injured dogs and make them healthy so that they can find wonderful homes. Dodge is lucky to have had you. Without you, all of your fosters would either have had to spend their recuperation time in a lonely kennel with no personal attention or maybe even be euthanized. I know Dodge will find a wonderful home! He's so cute and fun - he'll be adopted right away! Don't be sad! Take heart in the fact that you are really helping these doggies that you love so much."

Ok - though it's obvious that Pat was not trying to ease my sadness at returning Dodge, I don't think he was really trying to make me cry. I think he was trying to deal with his own sadness at losing Dodge. He is always sad when I return a foster. For a guy who proclaims to not like dogs, Pat seems to really bond with all the fosters I've brought home. I tell him every time that if he wants to keep the foster, he can, but then it will be "his" dog. That way I can place the blame of the sadness back on him - I foster the dogs but he is responsible for them going back to the shelter by not choosing to keep them for his own. He's trying to make me feel guilty about returning Dodge, but it's really all his fault! See? I told you he is a mean, mean man!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys. Urban Cowboys.

YouTube has a new option called Insight that shows you graphs and information about who is viewing your videos and how the viewers got there. Interesting data methinks, so I took a look at who is watching my wedding video. 33% of the viewers come from a YouTube search. What is surprising to me is that the second most popular search term (after variations of "swing wedding dance") that gets the viewers to my video is "Urban Cowboy Soundtrack". Urban Cowboy Soundtrack. Who knew?

BTW, my wedding video is now up to 9,872 views. I'm anxiously awaiting the little surge of pride I'll get when it hits 10,000. It's the small things in life that make me happy.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

What Do You Want To Be AFTER You Grow Up?

So, I finally read "Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers". This book was chosen by my book club a year or two ago, but I didn't read it because I was unable to attend that particular meeting. I am glad I finally read it, as it was fascinating. If you are not the squeamish type, I recommend reading it. On the whole, I generally dislike non-fiction books because they remind me too much of school - either a text book or perhaps someone's dissertation. This book had a little bit of that, especially when the author was talking about the history of transplants, but most often I just found it to be interesting.

I've always been convinced that organ donation was my post-death plan. However, a little research shows that if I donate organs I cannot become a cadaver at a medical school or be a subject of a whole body research study. In the here and now, the majority of my charitable time and money is spent on animal welfare. In the hereafter I would like my efforts to be expended (as much as a dead body can expend an effort) on helping humankind. This book covered a multitude of options - being a research subject at a body farm studying human decomposition, being a part of injury research such as car safety crash studies, whole body donation as a medical cadaver, as well as my original plan of organ donation.

How do you decide which is the most beneficial option? Organ donation saves one or two lives immediately. Medical cadavers help make doctors competent enough to save multiple lives in the future, research studies make those doctors or automobile makers or whoever more knowledgeable about keeping people safe and healthy probably even further down the line (after all the reports are written, the experiment finally published, etc). What a quandary... all are a much better alternative to rotting in an overpriced casket in an overpriced plot of land. More research is definitely required here.

What about you - what do you want to be AFTER you grow up?

Sunday, May 18, 2008


I seem to be surrounded with puppies. My agility friend, Terri, has a new Australian Shepherd named Chase. My friend, Nicole, just acquired Violet, the world's cutest lab puppy. And my book club buddy has been blessed with Buckley the Border Terrier. I have no photo of Buckley because when I visited him it was late at night and in my tiredness it never occurred to me to get out my camera. I'll post his photo as soon as I get it. Rest assured he is every bit as cute as Chase and Violet.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

A Brandy New Kitchen, Almost Complete

After:We did a poor job of counting how many handles we needed to buy the first time we went to Ikea, so last night we traipsed all the way down there again to purchase four more sets. And wouldn't you know it? They only had three sets in stock. Ergh. We also have to install the new microwave/broiler/grill (grill? yes, grill!) above the stove. Then we'll be all done!

Tomorrow Update

Despite our humble and skill-free beginnings as a soccer team, Tomorrow won the division championship! Woo-hoo...Free t-shirts for each of us! It was a shocking victory to everyone, especially the other team. I've got to give credit where credit is due - we couldn't have done it without our crazy-in-a-good-way goalie, Brad! Without him we'd be losers for sure. We'll test that premise next season since Brad and Laura have little loyalty and are deserting us to travel during their summer break. I am already anxiously awaiting their return to our team.

Because of our stellar success, Dave's wife made us congratulatory cupcakes! Mmmmm, sugar.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008


The end of the hockey season is coming up. I have not yet committed to playing again next season and it's been causing me some stress trying to make up my mind. Below is my pro/con list.

Reasons to Quit
1. It is very expensive - about $25 a game.
2. I'd like to have more time and money to focus on agility.
3. I have more heart than ability (which is a nice way to say I am really a terrible player).
4. The games are really late - 9:10 and 10:40 pm on Thursday and Friday nights.
5. It's a hassle to stay up late, drive all the way there and put on the gear all for a 45 minute game.
6. I still get plenty of exercise playing soccer 4 times a week.

Reasons to Keep Playing
1. It's cool to play ice hockey on a men's team.
2. It's something Pat and I do together.
3. Once I get past the staying up late, the drive, the putting on of the gear, I usually enjoy it.

What do you think? Help me out by answering the poll at the left.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Over 9,000 Satisfied Viewers

Do you know how popular wedding dance videos are on YouTube? The answer: REALLY popular. Currently my wedding video has been viewed 9,322 times. Wow.

Here it is if you would like to view it, too. About the part where Pat almost kills me, Pat would like you to know, "that dress is really slippery." Hmmm.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

How Did Tomorrow Do Last Night?

Tomorrow is my new Wednesday night soccer team. With the exception of me and Jamie, the team is composed completely of brand-newbies. Our first four games were rough. We were a sad, sad bunch. You know how bees swarm around and chase whoever messes with their hive? Yeah, that's what we looked like - a bunch of yellow shirts swarming and chasing the ball. No offense, no defense, just ball-chasing.

We started to show some improvement after the first few games. Then we got our big break. One of the teams had only three players show up for the game. Playing five against three is a real confidence boost and we started to score some goals. Eventually they gave up and forfeited the game - our first win! Last week we played Captain Awesome and got our first "real" win - equal number of players, no forfeit. It was amazing. They were the first place team! We were the last place team! Everyone thought it was a fluke. We considered it a winning streak.

Yesterday was the first game of playoffs; first place plays last place. Yep, we were still in last place. Captain Awesome was still in first. We played our hearts out. It was a very close and hard-fought game, but we pulled it off and won with a score of 5-4. Tomorrow won their first playoff game! Next week, we take on Code Brown for the championship. Go Tomorrow!!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

The Best Money I've Ever Spent

While daydreaming of all the ways I could spend the money George and Uncle Sam are sending my way, I came up with the following list:

The Best Money I've Ever Spent

1. Joe
He didn't cost much when I adopted him from the Sangamon County pound, but he almost immediately came down with distemper and the treatment cost around $1000. As a college student/waitress, that was a huge amount of money and a very big decision for a dog I 'd only had for two or three weeks. The money spent was well worth it, as Joe was my best friend for the next 12 years. Here he is a few months before the end, looking quite gray in the muzzle. He was my perfect dog. I miss him every day. 2. These awesome braided leather leashes.
I bought them at Chow Hound in Grand Rapids, Michigan for Joe and Henry in 1993. I don't remember how much I paid, but I'm sure it was extravagant compared to my meager income. 15 years later, the leashes are still holding strong for Frankie and Georgie.
3. Westin Heavenly Bed.
Way expensive. Way worth it. Definitely heavenly. Frankie, Al and the foster min pin, Dodge enjoy it, too.
4. Vacation in Costa Rica.
Every minute of this vacation was a blast. If you enjoy outdoor activities and you haven't yet been, I strongly suggest you book your trip right now.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Applications are posted for The Amazing Race!

Do you have a life goal? Is it to work toward the betterment of society? Retire wealthy at age 45? Find true love? Have your kid play major league ball? My life goal is to be on the Amazing Race. I went to tonight for my usual bimonthly check of the casting page and what do I see? Yep, the applications are posted! This news is pretty exciting - almost to the point where I will stay awake all night thinking about strategies to get the casting people to choose me. I have applied about a million times (every episode since TAR 3 and they are now on TAR 14) and it seems that the casting people must not like the partners I've applied with. It can't be ME that they repeatedly scorn. So, I'm on the lookout for a new partner - one that the casting people will take one look at and say "This show cannot proceed unless this person is a part of it!"

Being pseudo-famous on reality TV is the not the allure here. It's the TRAVEL! And the ADVENTURE! And the crazy tasks and the testing one's limits and the competition and the millions of people talking about me online with no niceties spared. Well, maybe not that last one. Combining two of my favorite things - travel and competition - is just genius!

I am well aware that I will never get on this show, but at this point it's a matter of some weird version of pride that keeps me applying. I refuse to give up. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Ever notice that this famous motivational saying doesn't end with "and eventually you will succeed!"? Oh, it's implied, of course, but I think that whoever coined the phrase really just wanted to enjoy the humor of watching jackasses like me try, try, try, try, try again. And who am I to disappoint a coiner of famously cliche phrase?

Friday, May 2, 2008

How about some will power? Um, no thanks.

How about some chocolate ice cream with Lucky Charms on top? Um, yes, please! This is why I should not be allowed to complain about having to buy bigger jeans. In life you have to make your choices. And every time I'm going to choose the chocolate ice cream with Lucky Charms. You should try it. Really.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

I've Got 14 Minutes and 58 Seconds Left

I'm starting a countdown of my 15 minutes of fame. This clip counts for 2 seconds of it. Check me out at 1:15.

Gia Altreche, shown twice, is the other marketing coordinator in my department at work.

Click here.

Maybe today won't be so good.

Yesterday I woke up happy with the Housemartins jangling through my brain. All that musical reminiscing opened some mental pathways to the 90's during my sleep last night because this morning, I woke up singing:

"If a ten-ton truck, kills the both of us,
To die by your side, well the pleasure - the privilege is mine."

Probably doesn't bode well for a good day.