Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Maven Session = Humiliation Session

I signed up for the Maven Sessions for an opportunity to take a wakeboarding class from a professional wakeboarder. I was very optimistic that with a little coaching, a real boat and professional gear, this could be me:

Yeah, that wasn't me. This was me:

I was very close to this being me:
The whole experience was in turns annoying, irritating, depressing and humiliating. First it was annoying because the pro-wakeboarders were late. The event was supposed to start at 9:00 and they didn't even arrive to set up until 9:15. Then it got irritating. Of the 11 girls there to learn to ride, there were 3 children, 1 mom and 7 of us in my approximate age range. Who did I get to ride with? You guessed it - the 3 children and the mom, while my 6 potential wakeboarding friends went in the other boat. Then it got depressing as the first rider in my boat - a 10 year old girl - let us know that she was there to try to land {insert name of a trick I've never heard of here} for her next competition. Yep, she could jump wake to wake and do ollie-180's and more shit than I can name. Then when it was finally my turn, it got humiliating. I sucked thoroughly and showed a prodigious talent for being utterly uncoachable. My last attempt knocked the wind out of me, knocked my feet out of my bindings and snapped my ponytail holder clean off. I landed face down in the water and my fear of drowning caused a minor panic attack. Humiliating, I tell you.

It's so depressing to want something so bad and then to underachieve so completely.


Anonymous said...

You've still got 4 years until the next Olympics. Don't quit on me! You're a super-star!! WHEE!!!

lacey said...

Oh my god - i could never do that! That takes a lot of guts -- you're way too cool for me. Which is why I had to move back to california.
missing book club,
(WHEE, too!)

Vickie said...

Don't give up yet!! You can do it!! I must admit though -- I was laughing while watching your video. The sound effects were perfect.



Elaine said...

That is one hard hit to blow out the ponytail. Ouch! Why don't you just continue to have fun wake boarding without the millions of tricks? And...let's not forget...someone is the bomb on a trapeze!

Anonymous said...

OMG, you are hilarious...at least you GOT UP!!! I could never do that.

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